Finding the right balance of when to turn off the computer (my uni work laptop) and turn on the iPad (my social outlet) is becoming harder.
At first at uni, I was finding it really easy and wondered why my peers were moaning about their social lives – was it that I didn’t actually have a social life? Or that I wasn’t putting enough effort in?
Well the effort was in – more so than it should have been for the first few practice essays – and my social life actually was dire. My boyfriend lives abroad and so I only see him every 6 weeks – we talk every night on Skype and I feel awkward going out without him or at least without speaking to him – and so actually my social life did suck!
Finding the balance between work and my social life was easy because it was set from my life in the RAF and I had gotten into a routine – yet now the workload has upped and I can’t afford to run my car so I have to work extra outside of uni – the prospect of going ‘out out’ is more and more daunting.
The more I can’t be bothered to go out!
But that isn’t right! I’m in uni for God’s sake – shouldn’t I be out til 4 in the morning propping up the bar?! I am a young, some say attractive 21 year old female, who loves fun, happy places – yet the idea of going out and drinking makes my skin go all bumpy, hands clammy and heart rate explode!
Is it the fear of not being in control? The fact that my peers in my social circle are all 3 -4 years younger than me? Or is it that I have just outgrown that sort of night out? In the RAF I would go out and enjoy myself in the bars of Birmingham – is it that now, away from the city, what my old home town in the country has to offer isn’t so great? I love a barn dance as much as the next girl but …. really!?
Well, we have 2 clubs in our town and one shut down.
But still – why the need to go out? Why the stereotype that because I am in uni I need to be “out out”? This is something I need to overcome …
Give me a good Austen novel, a glass of red wine and my slippers
This is something that I need to avoid! I need to go out, I need to relax, I need to let go and enjoy myself.
So this week I intend to set my goal of going out and having a drink and letting lose. My wobbling scales need to be balanced otherwise I will burn out… Let us see.